Crazy

A ride on the crazy train -- that is the best description I have for what this deployment has been for me. From the start, I've had strange compulsions and aversions. I haven't really drank since he left (seems wrong somehow to sit and enjoy a glass of wine without him), the commissary often makes me cry (I've actually talked to other women who had issues with this -- how dare people be happy while you're having a moment of "my husband would really like this, but he's not here to enjoy it and won't be home before it expires"? -- or just the fact that I can't escape the soldiers in uniform there), happy couples actually totally infuriate me, and I don't like to take evening walks anymore (because that is something we did often together)...you get the gist, right? Crazy...things I can logically convince myself don't make sense, but can't stop the compulsion anyway.

The end is in sight -- he could be home in as little as a week -- and my nervous crazy energy is turning into a cleaning spree. And no, not regular cleaning -- cleaning as in today I scrubbed the fridge out from top to bottom. Shampooing carpets and washing windows have been done (though I still need to finish shampooing carpets). I've been working on these projects for a while, but in the last few days I've really kicked it into overdrive. So the question is now, will I run out of dirty things to clean before he gets home? And if I do, what on EARTH will I do with myself to keep my mind occupied?

I'm SO looking forward to getting off of this train!